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| If you feel ‘dumped’, it’s easy to be drawn to a man who makes you feel like a goddess. |
1. Are you trying to make your ex jealous?
Ask yourself if you are in the new relationship simply so that your ex acknowledges your worth and comes back to you. Like 28-year old Rajni Mistry, who had many friends in common with her ex and tried using this to her advantage. “I’d always hope my friends who saw me with my new boyfriend would tell my ex about him. And I’d always ask them a dozen questions about his reaction, secretly yearning for some sign of jealousy.”
2. Is it physical?
If you feel ‘dumped’, it’s easy to be drawn to a man who makes you feel like a goddess. When Rajni called off her relationship after she found out her boyfriend had cheated, she was left with a badly bruised self-esteem. “The break-up made me question my desirability,” she says. “At a friend’s party, I hit it off with this guy, and ended up in bed with him on our second date! I was overwhelmed by his sexual need for me, and didn’t bother to check if we gelled well in other areas. I soon found out that he was deeply suspicious, and we broke up in a couple of months.”
3. What do your friends say?
Don’t turn a deaf ear when your sister points out that you are trying too hard in your new relationship. “I got close to a friend after a break-up,” says music teacher Parvati Mundkur, 31. “He was like a protective big brother initially, but gradually we discovered an intimacy. At first, I thought I needed him just to boost my ego, so I tried calling things to a halt. But I missed him when he was away and I knew I had found the one.”
Ask yourself if you are in the new relationship simply so that your ex acknowledges your worth and comes back to you. Like 28-year old Rajni Mistry, who had many friends in common with her ex and tried using this to her advantage. “I’d always hope my friends who saw me with my new boyfriend would tell my ex about him. And I’d always ask them a dozen questions about his reaction, secretly yearning for some sign of jealousy.”
2. Is it physical?
If you feel ‘dumped’, it’s easy to be drawn to a man who makes you feel like a goddess. When Rajni called off her relationship after she found out her boyfriend had cheated, she was left with a badly bruised self-esteem. “The break-up made me question my desirability,” she says. “At a friend’s party, I hit it off with this guy, and ended up in bed with him on our second date! I was overwhelmed by his sexual need for me, and didn’t bother to check if we gelled well in other areas. I soon found out that he was deeply suspicious, and we broke up in a couple of months.”
3. What do your friends say?
Don’t turn a deaf ear when your sister points out that you are trying too hard in your new relationship. “I got close to a friend after a break-up,” says music teacher Parvati Mundkur, 31. “He was like a protective big brother initially, but gradually we discovered an intimacy. At first, I thought I needed him just to boost my ego, so I tried calling things to a halt. But I missed him when he was away and I knew I had found the one.”
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