Why
are some men so comfortable dating a woman for years, yet they are not
comfortable with marrying that same woman? The question that women in
this situation most often ask me is “how do I know if he’s just a
procrastinator or if he really never plans to marry me?” Since women
usually mention marriage more quickly than men, it is not surprising
that women find it hard to distinguish between a man who has cold feet
and a man who will never marry them no matter how much time he is
given. Based on hundreds of stories from women who have tired of this
waiting game, LuvemOrLeavem has put together a list of the 5 most common
warning signs that your man doesn't plan to marry you.
1. You Have Been Reduced to Begging- For a woman who has been doing some serious hinting about getting married, it can be hard to recognize that conversations about marriage have been replaced by begging and pleading. Even smart, strong women who are used to demanding rather than begging for what they want in all other aspects of life, somehow fall into a trap where they are begging a man to marry them. Once you discover that you've been reduced to begging, it is time to move on. Not only does he not plan on marrying you, but the type of guy who strings a woman along like this is likely to move on to more complex stalling tactics that can drag on for years without ever tying the knot.
2. Waiting for the Right Time- It sounds so mature and responsible for your guy to say that he will ask you to marry him as soon as "the time is right,” but this is just another stalling tactic. Over the years we've heard all of the "it isn't the right time" excuses. They've ranged from men waiting for that big promotion to one man who wanted his brother to have enough time to grieve after his divorce before he was “forced” to participate in wedding festivities.
People manage to tie the knot during less than perfect circumstances all the time. Nearly every member of the clergy has a story about a bride or groom who had to hobble down the aisle after breaking a leg or having a serious injury before their wedding. Remember these couples when you’re evaluating whether his reason for waiting really has any merit.
3. He suggests a “trial period”- Men who want to get married are men that propose. They don’t try to find a way to delay things by recommending that you have a trial period of living together “just to make sure we’re compatible.” We get letters from women all the time who agreed to these trial periods and they’ve all either left the relationship or are now many, many years into that trial period.
4. An Engagement With No Date Set- Many men find that presenting a women with a diamond ring is the king of all stalling tactics. If the man has the financial means, he can often get several years worth of stall time with a large enough diamond. If you’ve been engaged for more than a few months and you still don’t have a date set, then the odds of you walking down the aisle with this man are slim at best. The same goes for wedding dates that are set two or more years into the future (see rescheduled wedding.)
5. The Rescheduled Wedding- This often starts out as a wedding date that is set for years in the future. As the date gets closer (close enough to start making real plans) the date suddenly gets moved further into the future. Let’s face it, in all aspects of life we tend to reschedule things that we’re not looking forward to (like going to the dentist) and we keep or move up the dates for those things that we really want to do. If your long engagement was rescheduled as soon as it got close enough to where you needed to start putting down deposits with wedding halls, caterers, etc, then he is sending you a message that he does not intend to ever go through with this wedding.
So, there are the 5 most common signs that he won’t be marrying you. Some of them are harder to recognize than others, but all of them are hard to admit to yourself when you have been waiting to hear those wedding bells. Once you find yourself in any of these 5 scenarios, then your time and energy is better spent by finding a new man who is ready to commit to you, rather than waiting around for your current man to walk down the aisle with you.
1. You Have Been Reduced to Begging- For a woman who has been doing some serious hinting about getting married, it can be hard to recognize that conversations about marriage have been replaced by begging and pleading. Even smart, strong women who are used to demanding rather than begging for what they want in all other aspects of life, somehow fall into a trap where they are begging a man to marry them. Once you discover that you've been reduced to begging, it is time to move on. Not only does he not plan on marrying you, but the type of guy who strings a woman along like this is likely to move on to more complex stalling tactics that can drag on for years without ever tying the knot.
2. Waiting for the Right Time- It sounds so mature and responsible for your guy to say that he will ask you to marry him as soon as "the time is right,” but this is just another stalling tactic. Over the years we've heard all of the "it isn't the right time" excuses. They've ranged from men waiting for that big promotion to one man who wanted his brother to have enough time to grieve after his divorce before he was “forced” to participate in wedding festivities.
People manage to tie the knot during less than perfect circumstances all the time. Nearly every member of the clergy has a story about a bride or groom who had to hobble down the aisle after breaking a leg or having a serious injury before their wedding. Remember these couples when you’re evaluating whether his reason for waiting really has any merit.
3. He suggests a “trial period”- Men who want to get married are men that propose. They don’t try to find a way to delay things by recommending that you have a trial period of living together “just to make sure we’re compatible.” We get letters from women all the time who agreed to these trial periods and they’ve all either left the relationship or are now many, many years into that trial period.
4. An Engagement With No Date Set- Many men find that presenting a women with a diamond ring is the king of all stalling tactics. If the man has the financial means, he can often get several years worth of stall time with a large enough diamond. If you’ve been engaged for more than a few months and you still don’t have a date set, then the odds of you walking down the aisle with this man are slim at best. The same goes for wedding dates that are set two or more years into the future (see rescheduled wedding.)
5. The Rescheduled Wedding- This often starts out as a wedding date that is set for years in the future. As the date gets closer (close enough to start making real plans) the date suddenly gets moved further into the future. Let’s face it, in all aspects of life we tend to reschedule things that we’re not looking forward to (like going to the dentist) and we keep or move up the dates for those things that we really want to do. If your long engagement was rescheduled as soon as it got close enough to where you needed to start putting down deposits with wedding halls, caterers, etc, then he is sending you a message that he does not intend to ever go through with this wedding.
So, there are the 5 most common signs that he won’t be marrying you. Some of them are harder to recognize than others, but all of them are hard to admit to yourself when you have been waiting to hear those wedding bells. Once you find yourself in any of these 5 scenarios, then your time and energy is better spent by finding a new man who is ready to commit to you, rather than waiting around for your current man to walk down the aisle with you.
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