Friday, 25 October 2013

‘Make your presence felt’: 8 ways to get your man’s attention

Young black woman relaxing on grass
Be around them but don’t pay too much attention. It will trigger their sense of curiosity and help you keep the equation balanced in your head.
 
1. Show interest, smile
A simple smile can do wonders in getting your crush’s attention. It is a foolproof ice-breaker. Even if that person doesn’t know you, he or she is bound to reciprocate in a positive manner since it makes him/her feel special. You must maintain eye contact while smiling because it shows you are confident and genuinely interested in the person. VJ Juhi Pande believes it’s okay to show your feelings. “I don’t know why people think that showing your liking for someone is a sign of desperation,” she says. “If you like somebody, it’s all right to let it show subtly.”

2. Arouse curiosity
Once you have established a connect, it’s time to get your crush interested in you. According to psychologist Deepti Makhija, assessing the way they behave can help you get somewhere. “A technique called Neuro Linguistic Processing is widely used by marketing experts to get a heads up from clients,” says Makhija. “It involves creating a neural pathway in the other person’s mind by emulating his actions. It is done in such a manner that the other person starts feeling comfortable about your presence. For instance, if the person runs her hand through her hair, do the same. If she drops a pen, drop you notebook. This will make the person want to communicate.”

3. Make your presence felt
Follow up by being around. “Being out of sight means out of mind,” says Makhija. “If you are around him/her, it will help you become approachable,” she adds. At the same time it is important you do not make yourself available to them at their convenience. Actor Shahana Goswami says, “Be around them but don’t pay too much attention. It will trigger their sense of curiosity and help you keep the equation balanced in your head.”

4. Gauge clues
If you have reached a stage where you can have a conversation, be a good listener and pay attention to what your crush is saying. “It gives you time to figure out whether the person really interests you,” says actor Shazahn Padamsee. “If you cannot relate with the conversation, it’s better not to pretend. If you are able to gauge positive vibes, it’s a sign you can go ahead.” Address your crush by their name time and again. Makhija says, “Everyone likes to hear their name.”

5. Humour goes a long way
Wit can make you appealing because it shows intelligence. Goswami says, “Humour lightens the situation but also takes away from the clichés of personal introduction such as where are you from, what do you do, etc.” In the initial stages, humour should not be flirtatious. “Keep the humour situation-specific,” adds Goswami. “Don’t try anything over-the-top. If you are aware of what the person is saying, you will come up with something interesting to say.”

6. Hang out with friends
Be casual and treat your crush like any other friend. Giving them too much importance can make them act pricey. TV host Archana Vijaya says, “Figure out how you can spend time with your crush. Make plans along with other people. It brings in the comfort level and you don’t look desperate to be with them. You can gradually drop hints revealing your interest.”

7. Hold your own 
Don’t try to hang out with your crush all the time. If he or she has plans, let them be. “Make your own group plans and don’t go following him/her everywhere,” says Vijaya. “Not only do you look desperate, you lose your self respect. They will think that you have nothing else to do. Live your own life. Your crush will respect you more.”

8. Be Honest
Don’t pretend you know everything about dancing just because your crush is an expert at it. Let them know what you are good at and they will discover that you are an interesting person even though you are different. After you have spent some time knowing your crush, you may decide to break it to them gently. “Everyone likes it when someone likes them,” says Pande. “Don’t fear rejection. Women appreciate honesty. If someone acts arrogant and turns you down, then that person is not meant for you.”

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