Over
the years, we've surveyed tens of thousands of women about their wants,
needs, desires, and wishes—in bed and out. And they've eagerly answered
our questions. All of them. At length. In that same time, we've also
talked to sex researchers, therapists, surrogates, and aficionados. So
we're confident when we tell
you that if you want to meet more women, spice up your sex life, and be
the best lover your girlfriend or wife has ever had, you must read this
list. Consider these rules the 50 Hottest Sex Tips All Women Wish You
Knew.
The hottest word you can say to a woman in bed? "You." Say it often. It's the difference between "that feels wonderful" and "you make me feel wonderful."
Increase Contact
Explore new regions. The base of her spine is Sensation Central. Gently stroke and kiss her belly just above the pubic hairline. Sex becomes about discovery, not a destination.
Be Flattered If She Ignores Her Cell
Add a Little Danger
Buy Her Favorite Candy
Get naked! Pour peppermint schnapps in her belly button. Sip it. Then kiss her breasts and blow on the spots you kissed. The peppermint schnapps and air will cause a cool sensation and heighten arousal.
Want to try something new in bed? Reference something sexy you saw in a magazine (or in a list of 50 Best Sex Tips). That way, you can ask your partner, "Did you ever think of doing that?" without pointedly saying, "This is what I want."
Always greet your girlfriend with kisses.
Avoid Her Turnoffs
Seduction by the numbers. Buy a half-inch camel-hair paintbrush at the art-supply store, dip it in chocolate sauce, and have her paint numbers on her body. Find your way in order by using your fingertips and mouth.
Don't Ditch Friends and Family
Keep Doing What You're Doing
A tried-and-true method of lasting longer in bed: The stop-start technique. Pay attention to when you're approaching your point of no return, and then pause the action for a while to calm yourself back down. That doesn't mean flip on the TV—instead, lavish attention on her for a few minutes, to bring her closer to your point of arousal.
Act Like a Keeper
Add a steamy, woman-friendly film to your Netflix queue—In the Cut, The Thomas Crown Affair (the 1999 version), or our favorite, A History of Violence—and use the sex scene as a conversation catalyst.
Get Immediate Feedback
Some sex researchers believe there's something called an A-Spot, which is further up inside the vagina from the G-Spot, and might facilitate female ejaculation. How to reach it: Place both index and middle fingers inside her, and stick out your thumb as if you're hitchhiking. It'll pull your fingers more snugly against her vaginal walls, stimulating both the A-spot and G-spot simultaneously. Then use your thumb to also stimulate her clitoris, and gently twist your hand.
Go Slower for a Faster Response
Join an intramurals sports league. Team play encourages what sociologists call "situational generalization"—in other words, positive circumstances help people click.
Break Up, Don't Cheat
The first few times a woman sleeps over, you owe her breakfast. "When you cook for somebody, it says, 'You're worth my time,' and that's the biggest turn-on of all," says Martha Hopkins, author of Intercourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.
See How Intensely She Kisses Back
Hug Her from Behind
Use Your Pillows
Even Nice Girls are Bad
Boost Her Confidence
Enjoy Her Lingerie
Look in the Mirror
Don't Ask Complicated Questions
"Fine" is never an appropriate response when she asks you how she looks.
Spray a touch of the cologne that she loves on the sheets. A study by Indiana University found that women who fantasized while smelling a popular men's cologne were more aroused than while smelling women's cologne or a neutral odor.
Words she loves to hear: "That freckle is beautiful." Focus on unique details about her, and she'll know you haven't said the same thing to 47 other women.
Go to a Music Festival
Watch porn together without the sound on. Instead, you two provide the dialogue. Sure, you'll miss the snappy plumber-housewife banter, but you'll learn how to talk erotically, so it's educational. It's also fun, you're both invested in it, and it can help reveal fantasies.
Get Rid of Your Bedroom TV
Let Her Dress Up
Clean Without Her Asking
Read Her Something
Look for Nonverbal Cues
Keep Your Room Warm
Harder and Faster isn't Always Better
Make Her Feel Sexy After Sex
Ditch the Script
Rest Your Hand on Her Knee
When kissing, a little tongue action is good, but don't go crazy. Guys are notorious for tonsil spelunking, so stay in the front of her mouth.
Use your hands to bring her close to climax before penetration, which will make an orgasm during intercourse much more likely. Here's a new way to use your hands: Prop yourself up with pillows and have her sit so that she's facing away from you and leaning back against your chest. Reach around and use your fingertips or the flat of your hand along and between her legs in up-and-down, side-to-side, and figure-8 moves.
Talk About Your Favorite Moment
Make a reservation for sex. Tell her what you're going to do after you carry her over the threshold of the new house, or detail your intentions for the outdoor shower after your day at the beach. It'll plant some passion-packed seeds for later.
If you've got a new sexual skill, by all means, break it out. But do so with respect for the mood, and for her reaction; if it's not working, let it go
The hottest word you can say to a woman in bed? "You." Say it often. It's the difference between "that feels wonderful" and "you make me feel wonderful."
Increase Contact
Explore new regions. The base of her spine is Sensation Central. Gently stroke and kiss her belly just above the pubic hairline. Sex becomes about discovery, not a destination.
Be Flattered If She Ignores Her Cell
Add a Little Danger
Buy Her Favorite Candy
Get naked! Pour peppermint schnapps in her belly button. Sip it. Then kiss her breasts and blow on the spots you kissed. The peppermint schnapps and air will cause a cool sensation and heighten arousal.
Want to try something new in bed? Reference something sexy you saw in a magazine (or in a list of 50 Best Sex Tips). That way, you can ask your partner, "Did you ever think of doing that?" without pointedly saying, "This is what I want."
Always greet your girlfriend with kisses.
Avoid Her Turnoffs
Seduction by the numbers. Buy a half-inch camel-hair paintbrush at the art-supply store, dip it in chocolate sauce, and have her paint numbers on her body. Find your way in order by using your fingertips and mouth.
Don't Ditch Friends and Family
Keep Doing What You're Doing
A tried-and-true method of lasting longer in bed: The stop-start technique. Pay attention to when you're approaching your point of no return, and then pause the action for a while to calm yourself back down. That doesn't mean flip on the TV—instead, lavish attention on her for a few minutes, to bring her closer to your point of arousal.
Act Like a Keeper
Add a steamy, woman-friendly film to your Netflix queue—In the Cut, The Thomas Crown Affair (the 1999 version), or our favorite, A History of Violence—and use the sex scene as a conversation catalyst.
Get Immediate Feedback
Some sex researchers believe there's something called an A-Spot, which is further up inside the vagina from the G-Spot, and might facilitate female ejaculation. How to reach it: Place both index and middle fingers inside her, and stick out your thumb as if you're hitchhiking. It'll pull your fingers more snugly against her vaginal walls, stimulating both the A-spot and G-spot simultaneously. Then use your thumb to also stimulate her clitoris, and gently twist your hand.
Go Slower for a Faster Response
Join an intramurals sports league. Team play encourages what sociologists call "situational generalization"—in other words, positive circumstances help people click.
Break Up, Don't Cheat
The first few times a woman sleeps over, you owe her breakfast. "When you cook for somebody, it says, 'You're worth my time,' and that's the biggest turn-on of all," says Martha Hopkins, author of Intercourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.
See How Intensely She Kisses Back
Hug Her from Behind
Use Your Pillows
Even Nice Girls are Bad
Boost Her Confidence
Enjoy Her Lingerie
Look in the Mirror
Don't Ask Complicated Questions
"Fine" is never an appropriate response when she asks you how she looks.
Spray a touch of the cologne that she loves on the sheets. A study by Indiana University found that women who fantasized while smelling a popular men's cologne were more aroused than while smelling women's cologne or a neutral odor.
Words she loves to hear: "That freckle is beautiful." Focus on unique details about her, and she'll know you haven't said the same thing to 47 other women.
Go to a Music Festival
Watch porn together without the sound on. Instead, you two provide the dialogue. Sure, you'll miss the snappy plumber-housewife banter, but you'll learn how to talk erotically, so it's educational. It's also fun, you're both invested in it, and it can help reveal fantasies.
Get Rid of Your Bedroom TV
Let Her Dress Up
Clean Without Her Asking
Read Her Something
Look for Nonverbal Cues
Keep Your Room Warm
Harder and Faster isn't Always Better
Make Her Feel Sexy After Sex
Ditch the Script
Rest Your Hand on Her Knee
When kissing, a little tongue action is good, but don't go crazy. Guys are notorious for tonsil spelunking, so stay in the front of her mouth.
Use your hands to bring her close to climax before penetration, which will make an orgasm during intercourse much more likely. Here's a new way to use your hands: Prop yourself up with pillows and have her sit so that she's facing away from you and leaning back against your chest. Reach around and use your fingertips or the flat of your hand along and between her legs in up-and-down, side-to-side, and figure-8 moves.
Talk About Your Favorite Moment
Make a reservation for sex. Tell her what you're going to do after you carry her over the threshold of the new house, or detail your intentions for the outdoor shower after your day at the beach. It'll plant some passion-packed seeds for later.
If you've got a new sexual skill, by all means, break it out. But do so with respect for the mood, and for her reaction; if it's not working, let it go
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